Just Say No!

Trouble Saying NO?

It’s often difficult for people to balance work and family lift, and get everything done they have to because they have difficulty in saying “NO” when asked to do extra things for their church or school, or extra work on the job.  Often they feel guilty and give in, say yes when they don’t want to, and become overloaded.  It’s not easy, especially for women, to say no.  But it’s something we all have to do to protect our time and energy.  Here are some suggestions to gracefully say no without alienating them:

v      Don’t feel that you have to give your answer immediately.  If you are uncertain about your response, say “I need some time to think it over.  I’ll get back to you.”  If they press you, say “I don’t think I can do it at this time.  Thanks anyway.”

v      Make sure your response is about you – not an implied criticism of the person asking.  Don’t convey annoyance that you were asked.  Just say “I understand you need help, but I’m in a time bind myself.  Perhaps I can help another time.”

v      Be brief but not defensive.  Avoid any lengthy explanation or apology for not being able to do what is requested.   It’s okay to say “I’d like to help out, but I have too many obligations this month.  Perhaps next time.”

v      Don’t try to change the other person’s response.  If you have to say no to a request, don’t tell the other person that he or she shouldn’t feel angry or disappointed.  If the other says “I’m really disappointed you can’t help”, don’t feel guilty and give in – just say “I understand your disappointment, but I have too many things on the table at this time.”

Saying no, and meaning it may require you to stick to your guns, even with friends.  It means you are more selective when you do say yes.

by Bev Peters 

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